A Mothers Battle. Frustration, Confusion and alas, Freedom in His Grace!

For years I'd been waking up in the middle of the night wondering why the Lord had given me so much vision, so much conviction for the lost but so little time, resources and energy. I'd wake up restless because my mind would not let the ideas go. This all left me feeling frustrated, confused wondering why the Lord would do this. Why would he give me this when he knew I couldn't do anything with it?

I felt like our world revolved around us, our family, our friends and our church. These are all great things but there was something missing. At that time I was pregnant so I knew very well and He knew even better that there was no way I would have the time or energy to add anything else to my day. When I would share these frustrations with girlfriends they came to my rescue and explained that this was my ministry-my family and this is just how it is. I didn't agree with "this is just how it is" but I agreed wholeheartedly with my family being my ministry and I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world. But still the Lord continued to prod, gently prodding. As he so often does.

Well this past summer He spoke and answered my questions. The Lord opened the eyes of my heart to see all these frustrations, convictions, passion and ministry in a new way through this statement I read in my devotions "God's glory discovers us where we are." God can use me right where I am at He doesn't need to change my circumstances. So I began to meditate on this statement on how God used Moses right where he was at in the field as a shepherd. He showed me that I needed to yield, to surrender my ideas, my passion and my conviction unto Him. And only until then would I be able to cherish each moment with my children, my family and also seize the day for His glory! He said "Mari, yes I have given you a heart to serve, a heart for the lost, a mind full of ideas but you were looking at all of this through your lenses not mine, that's why you end up frustrated and confused."

"I gave you Ben and made you a wife. I gave you Ethan and Aiden and made you a mother. I gave you Jesus and made you my child. I gave you a heart for the poor, the lost. I give you the vision. Rejoice my child in all of this and use it to glorify me each day! You don't need to start a homeless shelter to help the poor all you need is to open your eyes and your heart when your out shopping. You don't need to go to Mexico to reach the lost just open your eyes when your out at the zoo or the park with your children. You don't need to be involved in everything at church so your children can see Jesus. Just treat the homeless man on the street like a person and offer him a meal. Mari, I want you to cherish each moment in your childrens lives but I also want you to know that you can seize the day to be Jesus, to help them see Jesus, and to allow Jesus to work through them."

It's so easy to become complacent, to get used to our routine, our litte life in our little world and that is exactly what we had done.
Wow! Tears rolled, snot flowed and my hearts burden was free when I heard these words. I realized that my children are my disciples. True discipleship is only effective if I am in the Word, fellowshipping with believers, serving others, reaching out to the lost but they go hand in hand. If I isolate one of them than my children only see a part of Jesus, the don't see all of Jesus. The hard fact is that this doesn't just happen in ones family, it doesn't just fall into place, you have to be intentional about it.
From these frustrations, confusion and God's grace was born: Mommy and Me Missions. www.mommyandmemissions.com